Saving Gwen
by christine.liddle.397
Summary: Not for people who don't like Gwen. This is a Gwen based story. Gwen is kidnapped and tortured, when the team find her she's alive, but it could still be to late to save the Gwen they knew.
1. Chapter One

"Well why can't we?!" asked Gwen in a voice that clearly showed her outrage at the situation. "Because that's not what we do." replied Jack as they entered the hub. "WHY NOT?!" shouted Gwen. "Look Gwen, do you really expect us to tell her that her brother was eaten by an alien, not mauled by an animal, and offer her counselling? " Jack sighed waiting for Gwen's inevitable response. "What comes through the rift may not be our fault but it is our responsibility! " Gwen's blood was boiling now. "Gwen, No, and that's final! Now go home and calm down." ordered Jack. Gwen grabbed her bag and stormed out the hub. _Jack fucking Harkness why can't he ever once have a heart_ thought Gwen as she made her way towards the lift.

It had been three days now and Gwen still hadn't come into work. Jack had assumed that Gwen was still sulking until Rhys called him. "Why has Gwen not come home? She hasn't called, or texted. All I get is her voice mail, I haven't seen her in three days." Jack listened through the phone. He hung up. Now he was worried. "Meeting in the boardroom now!" Shouted Jack from his office. The team walked in one by one. "Okay guys Rhys assumed she was still at work and didn't call because he's used to her working for long periods of time. Gwen didn't go home 3 days ago when she left the hub. Her phone is off. She hasn't replied to any emails or texts. No one has seen her since Monday So where is she?" The team looked at him in a way that communicated they also had no idea. "Ok Tosh check the CCTV from Monday night, try to find out where she went. Owen run a track on her phone. Ianto bring me some coffee."

3 days earlier...

Gwen woke with a start. It was dark and she couldn't see anything. It was only when she tried to move that she noticed she was tied to a chair. She struggled in an attempt to free herself. It was pointless her arms and legs were tied tight, and even if she could untie herself she had no idea where she was or what had happened. _Think Gwen what's the last thing you remember she thought. Ok I stormed out of the hub and headed to my car. I opened the door and then someone grabbed me. She tried to remember further but after then it all went blurry._ Gwen thought she remembered vaguely someone sticking something in her neck but she wasn't sure. Suddenly she heard a door open. Looking up, she saw a tall man. Although obviously she wouldn't admit it, she also thought he was kind of handsome. "Hello Gwen cooper." he said in what could only be described as a tone of pride. _What the hell? Who is this guy,_ Gwen thought in her head. "Who are you? How do you know who I am. And why the fuck am I tied up?!" she shouted. "All in good time Gwen. You will soon discover I am your worst nightmare." he pulled out a syringe. "Good night Gwen cooper, don't worry this will help you sleep." He stuck it deep into her neck and pushed down. Then everything went black...

3 days later...

"Jack I have a trace on her phone!" shouted Owen from his desk. Jack rushed down the steps. "Where?" Owen looked at the computer screen. "A small town in the countryside. Cawywain. It's at least five hours from here." Jack grabbed his coat. "Guys hurry up, we're leaving. NOW!" The ran out the cog door and down the tunnel towards the lift. They hurried out the door of the tourist information hut. One by one they bundled into the SUV. "OWEN! I need that trace in the GPS now." Jack started the car. "OK, what do we know about the area Ianto?" Ianto looked at the screen. "Ok its a small town with just under 200 residents. The only shop is the post office and there's only one bus stop." Owen sighed. "So its in the middle of nowhere?" he said rudely Although Owen hated to admit it he really cared for Gwen and was really worried.

2 days earlier...

The tazer startled Gwen. She didn't know what he had drugged her with but it felt like one hell of a hangover when she had woken up. She looked around and saw the man once again. He was the textbook villain Dark hair that hung just below his eyes which were ice cold. Tall and muscly dressed entirely in black and a creepy voice. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head up so she was looking at him. He ran his hands over her face cold. Slowly his hands ran all over her tense body, Gwen flinching at every touch. "Just so you know everything that's about to happen to you is all Captain Jack Harkness's and Torchwood faults." He slowly pulled out a knife. Gwen eyes were full of terror she tried to scream but it was muffled by the gag. She shook desperately and pulled at the ropes. It was hopeless He plunged the knife deep into her stomach. Gwen screamed as hard as she could. He made a gash down her cheek just before he stuck the knife into her shoulder. Gwen tried so hard to move that she tipped the chair over that she was tied to. "Oh so you want to be untied Gwennie?" he asked smiling. He slowly untied her legs from the chair but leaving her arms tied behind her back. Instinctively she tried to run. He grabbed her by the hair and punched her in her gut. She groaned and fell to the floor. He kicked her several times before he decided just to start slashing at her with the knife. Gwen tried so hard to stay awake but the darkness overcame her.

2 days later...

"Jack! It's this house, shes in here." Owen gestured towards a house to the left. Tosh and Ianto pulled out there guns. The entire team prepared. BAM! Jack kicked the door straight of the hinge and fled into the house checking each room for Gwen. Tosh and Owen went upstairs. One by one they kicked the doors in and searched the rooms. "Nothing upstairs Jack!" shouted Tosh down the stairs. "Well there's nothing here." Jack replied. He sighed. Then after he thought he had lost all hope he notice the door to the basement they had missed when they came in. He slowly opened the door and ran down the stairs with his webber prepared. The team follow shortly Jack gasped. Gwen lay in the middle of the floor in a pool of her own blood. "GWEEENNN!" He screamed. However had not noticed the man stood behind Gwen. "So we meet at last Jack?" He spoke with arrogance. _Who is this guy?_ thought jack. "Excuse me?" This angered him. "Its James! Jack don't you remember ! You shagged me once on the moon of Beltos. You promised me the world and then you left before I even woke up. You tore my world apart and now I am gonna do the same to you!" Jack aimed his gun at James "Really Jack? Is there a single pysco you haven't slept with? Your ex-shags are becoming a bit of a problem for us. "Aw poor Jack. Did you piss of someone else? Too bad you won't live long enough to remember. I will kill everyone you love and make you watch as they suffer, then finally I'll kill you." Jack fired his gun. A perfect shot. The bullet hit him in the middle of his forehead and he fell to the ground.

"OWEN GET THE MEDIC KIT NOW. ITS IN THE SUV!" Jack screamed. Owen rushed up the stairs. "Gwen can you hear me darling?" Jack asked softly "Come on Gwen you can do this. Please Gwen Please wake up for me." He shook her body. "Gwen please! We've been through so much. Not now sweetie. Not after everything. Not you." He cried softly "OWEN!" He choked through his tears. "Coming Jack." He sped down this stairs. He pulled out an alien scanner. "She's still alive Jack, her pulse is dropping and she's lost a lot of blood we need to get her to a hospital." Jack was relieved but still terrified. "Nearest hospital's 4 miles." Ianto stated. "Owen help me carry her." Owen and Jack carefully picked up Gwen's limp, fragile body. They lay her down on the back seat carefully. "Ianto, Tosh we need the backseat for Gwen to lie down. You'll have to sit in the boot. Owen you drive!" Jack sat in the back and rested Gwen's head on his lap. "Just hold on Gwen not long now. You can make it through this Gwen. I promise you." Jack didn't care that she was unconscious and couldn't hear him.

3 hours later...

Jack was sat on a chair by the hospital bed. The bruised and slashed Gwen next to him. She looked a mess. Jack had been told by the doctors that she has, bruised ribs, two broken bones, internal bleeding, three major stab wounds and a concussion. Not to mention the purple bruises and gashed covered skin. The team had left Jack alone with her. Jack held her hand. "Gwen please wake up? For me? PLEASE?!" He felt broken inside._ This was his fault. What if she had died?_ Jack felt her fingers move. "Gwen?" She moaned and opened her eyes. "It's Jack Gwen. Rhys is in London we tried to call him. He wouldn't answer." Gwen looked at him. "Gwen its Jack, you know your handsome boss? At Torchwood " He asked sarcastically hoping she wasn't too beaten up to appreciate his humor. She scrambled back across the bed and hit the wall. She grabbed her knees and held them close to her chest. Screaming as she rocked back and forth. "NO. Not Torchwood Please don't hurt me. Stay away from me Jack please." She started to cry. "Its ok Gwen, no ones going to hurt you, not me or Torchwood. It wasn't us who did this to you. Your safe." He reached for her hand but she flinched. Jack tried to wrap his arms around her, but Gwen moved her body away from his touch. Jack felt hurt but he understood her caution. She looked down at her feet still holding her knees to her chest. She had been there for three days before Torchwood found her. Three days of endless torture. "Its OK Gwen, I wont let anyone hurt you. Now I am gonna go tell the others you're ok." Gwen sat there motionless giving no sign she heard what he said. It was only when the door shut that she looked up. She closed her eyes and before she knew it she was asleep. It wasn't a peaceful sleep however, her dreams haunted by the recent past.

When she woke up the whole team was there. They smiled when she opened her eyes. "Thank god you're alright Gwen!" said Tosh. "We brought grapes." said Ianto trying to put Gwen at ease."The hospital say we can take you home tonight." Gwen started to cry again. Jack sat down on the bed. "It's OK I mean we can take you to the hub, you can stay there. You can have my bed and I'll sleep on the sofa. You'll be safe there Gwen. Trust me" said Jack. Jack hated to see a member of his team, so scared and defeated like this. Where had the fearless Gwen he once knew gone? "You need to get some rest now." said Owen looking at her. Owen pulled out a syringe. Gwen immediatley snapped out of her catatonic state and moved to the back of the bed, as far away from Owen she could get."You need to sleep Gwen this will help, I promise." Gwen screamed as she remembered what happened after James had injected her. "No, no, no. Not again. NO!" Jack held both wrists restraining her so that Owen could insert the syringe into a vain. Slowly the sedative took affect and Gwen's cry's ceased. "God, what happened to her Jack?" asked Owen. "I don't know. She was obviously hurt pretty bad. Now shes so scared. She'll get through this Owen I know she can. She told me that James said that it was Torchwoods fault and mine that he tortured her. Now she fears us. When she first woke up she wouldn't stop screaming. It took a while before she trusted me again but we'll get there." Owen sighed "Why is she afraid of needles now?" Jack frowned. "I don't know, maybe he injected her with something that caused her pain, a toxin or something. Or maybe that's how he took in the first place, by injecting her with a sedative before she could fight back, maybe she is scared that will happen again." Owen slumped on the chair "She's really messed up Jack. Mentally and physically." Jack started to cry. "I know and its all my fault..."


	2. Chapter two

Gwen had been released from the hospital a week ago. Jack was worried about her, she hadn't spoken properly to anyone about what happened, he decided giving her some space might help. Jack had suggested she took a week off, she didn't want to, but she couldn't be bothered to argue. Jack had said she could come back into work today, so she decided she better get ready. Gwen walked towards the mirror and looked herself up and down. _Jesus, I look a mess. _Gwen wasn't surprised though, she had heavy bags under her eyes, her clothes hanging off her due to the amount of weight she'd lost, and her hair looked like a bird nest. She went into the shower and turned the water on. Gwen had thought the warm water would feel nice against her skin, but it stung every cut and bruise. She knew had to pretend to be strong for the team, at one time another they had all gone through pain but they had got through it and carried on, she wasn't going to be the exception. It wasn't just the physical pain, she felt like she was dying inside. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't close her eyes without pain.

Gwen walked into the hub holding a tray of take out coffees, as Ianto walked past he looked at the coffee with disgust. The coffee machine had broken, it was either Starbucks or instant. It was according to Owen, the acoffalypse. Gwen put the coffee down on the table and sighed. "What's up?" a pair of hands rested on her shoulders. Gwen screamed, and jumped. "Shhh... I didn't mean to startle you." Gwen let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "Jack. I'm sorry." She took a step back away from Jack. "Its OK, you don't need to apologize So? Gonna tell me whats wrong?" She turned around to face him and forced a smile. "Nothings wrong, you just startled me is all." Jack looked at her not quite believing her. "Ok. Well I need to go back to work, so if you don't mind could you go check on the weevils in the vaults?" He asked whilst picking up a pile of papers. "Yeah, sure. See you later." she forced a smile once more. Jack turned around and headed for his office.

Gwen walked down the steps to the vaults, and swiped her ID. The door opened after a few seconds. As she walked down in between the cells her phone started to vibrate. Her hand reached into her pocket and she held it to her ear. "Hello?" she asked. "Hey Gwen, its Rhys. I have some news. The company down in London has asked me to stay for six months. I said yes." Gwen was silent. "Well you're never around anymore, I get Torchwood keeps you busy and it's something you want to do, but this is something I want to do, sorry. I will call you later, I am kinda busy. Sorry. Bye love you..." She listened to the tone signalling he had hung up. Gwen held back tears. It had been 3 weeks since she was kidnapped, Rhys was meant to be coming back next week. Now he wouldn't be back for half a year. She needed him. She hadn't told him what had happened, she planned to when he returned. It wasn't like she had much choice, the bruises were still visible and Owen said some of the knife cuts would leave permanent scars. She slid her phone into her back pocket and headed for the door. Everything she did hurt, even walking up the steps. Grabbing her bag from her desk she headed towards the cog door. Unfortunately at Torchwood a quiet exit wasn't possible because of the wailing sirens that went of every time the door opened. "Gwen, where are you going?" Jack asked as he rushed towards her. He grabbed her arm and tried to stop her but she pulled away. "Gwen talk to me?!" she ignored him and carried on walking through the corridor that led to the fake Tourist information. "Gwen? Whats wrong? Gwen?!"

Jack knew something was wrong, Gwen had been off. It was to be expected but she seemed to be really bad. He would never admit it to the team but he cared so much about her and he felt responsible for her saftey. Not just because she was a team member but because he recruited her, she chose to join but he could have retconned her. Whatever happened he felt certain that it would be his fault. He snapped out of his thoughts and grabbed the SUV keys, he was already behind. Fuck, Jack thought, a traffic jam. Her swerved the car onto the pavment and drove, he knew he was breaking the law and he didnt care.

Slamming the door of her flat shut, she began to cry. She sank down against the back of the door and clutched her knees. Crying and rocking back and forth for hours. Finally when she could cry no more she pulled herself up and headed towards the bag. Throwing of her bag she flung it in the corner. She tore off her jacket and fell onto the bed. She had been there for only a minute when her phone rang in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at the screen. Jack. Filled with hurt, and anger she chucked it against the wall. She looked at the smashed remains, and laughed. _What_ _does_ _it matter now?_ Gwen thought. _What does anything matter anymore?_ Gwen rolled onto her side and buried her head in the pillows. All she wanted was rest, it took her a lot of effort to act like everything was fine but she knew she had too for Jack and for the team. If she didn't she was a liability to Torchwood and Torchwood was the only thing she had left now. She closed her eyes. Images flashed before her eyes. Blood. The knife. James. The needle. Pain. She shook her head, why can't I just forget for a moment? She reached into the draws next to her bed and pulled out a litre bottle of vodka. It was the only way she could sleep now. She drunk a quarter of the bottle before falling asleep.

Jack pulled up outside her house and ran for her door. He buzzed a couple of times but no answer. He held the buzzer "Gwen let me in please?" he spoke into the microphone. "Gwen?" he repeated. "Gwen? GWEN?!" Jack banged against the door. "GWEN?! OPEN THE DOOR! GWEEENNN!" Panicking now he banged his fists against the door. _Oh god, why isn't she answering. Somethings happened_. He drew the webbly from his pocket and shot several times at the lock. Raising his leg he kicked the door off the hinge. Eyes darted around the room where was she? He went into the bedroom and his eyes widened at what he saw. Gwen was screaming from side to side. Her body convulsing. Blood ran down her face. Jack rushed over and held her down in the hope to prevent her from hurting herself further. "Gwen! Gwen its Jack calm down. Gwen?! Its me." Her body still trying to escape his grip. "NO, NO, Please don't...Get away from me. Don't, please no. No, no, no..." she cried. Jacks hand flew to his ear to press the ear piece. "Owen, get down here. Gwen's flat. Help. Shes bleeding. Screaming. She won't wake up. Help. NOW!" Jack stroked her cheek with her hand. "Its ok Gwen darling everything's going to be fine. Help is coming." Jack whispered softly.


	3. Chapter Three

Ok, thanks for the reviews everyone especially ThatCrazyRedHead, I felt like a fan girl when I read yours, because I love your fan fictions Please redhead write another GWACK fanfic. Anyway thanks to all the others as well. I was only going to do a few chapters but I love writing this fan fiction please review so I know whether or not I should do more. In this chapter Gwen gets even worse the team are really worried, is it too late to save Gwen?

Jack was still holding Gwen down, and Gwen was still screaming and thrashing about. "GWEN! You've got to wake up, come on Gwen for me? Owens coming Ok he'll be here soon everything's gonna be alright. Shh .. darling, I'm here." stroking her cheek as he said this. Usually Gwen was so peaceful when she sleeped, once when she was on a night-shift at the hub she slept on the sofa. Jack stared at her all night, sleep made him curious as he could no longer sleep. His thoughts were interrupted by Owen's shouts "JACK, what is it?! I brought the medi-kit." Rushing into the bedroom he put down the medical kit on the bed. Jack looked at him desperately "Help her, I don't know whats wrong with her. I heard her shouting and I kicked down the door." Owen grabbed the kit and pulled out a syringe and flicked the needle with his finger. "This is a sedative it should calm her down and stop her from hurting herself further." Jack held her wrist in place as Owen pushed down on the syringe. The fluid disappeared into her vain. Slowly she started to stop crying and screaming. Then after a few more minutes she stopped tossing and turning. Jack sigh "Lets get her back to the hub Owen, you can look at that head wound."

Later at the hub... "Tosh can we have a bit of help here?!" Jack shouted as they walked through the cog door. Tosh put down her keyboard and rushed over to Owen and Jack. "Jesus what happened to Gwen?" she said in a tone that clearly conveyed her worry. Tosh looked and Gwen's limp, fragile body. The blood pouring from a large gash on her head and the fresh bruises on her face and arms. "We don't know whats wrong with her. She wouldn't wake up, Owen had to sedate her because she was thrashing about in her sleep and was hurting herself. I heard her screaming and crying through the door, I had to kick it down." Jack answered. Tosh helped Owen hold her legs as they carried her over to the table in the autopsy room. Laying her down flat on her back Jack grabbed a small torch. He lifted each eye lid and shined the torch. "She's still unconscious." Jack stated. He lightly slapped her on the cheek a couple of times. Nothing. "Come on Gwen wake up." he grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Jack!" Owen shouted. "I've taken her blood there's a really dangerous amount of alcohol in her blood. She must have drunk a lot."

"Jack..." Gwen groaned. Her eyelids flickered before they fully opened. Jack squeezed her hand and was relieved when she squeezed back. "Gwen? Its me Jack, I'm here." he looked into her eyes and she tried to smile. "Jack...what happened?" she asked in a weak tone. Reaching over Jack pushed a piece of hair covering her eyes. "shhh...now. Don't try to speak. You drunk a lot of alcohol, and you would not wake up. Thrashing about, crying out, screaming and you managed to hit your head. You have a grade three concussion, we think that's why you wouldn't wake up." Jack told her softly Gwen groaned at the news. "The vodka..." she whispered. "I'm sorry Jack..." Jack looked at her confused, "What? How much did you drink and why? What's happened?" he asked. "Rhys. Not. Coming. Back. Phone call. Quarter of a bottle." she spoke each word slowly as it was a great deal of effort to speak. Jack's face fell. "Oh Gwen..." He stroked her cheek. "I'm so sorry. Everything will be fine. Now get some rest. I am gonna give you a sedative to help you sleep don't worry." He stuck it in before she could argue. As she slowly sank into the darkness she whispered "No..."

"Look Jack, you have to accept it. Shes not fine. Shes been pretending since she was taken. Shes not the Gwen she was..." Owen stated. Jack looked at him angrily, "NO! I won't accept that. We can't lose her. Not Gwen. I don't give up on any of my team." he slammed his hand down on the desk in anger. "Look Jack, whatever 'James' did to her in those three days, it's messed her up. Whilst checking her blood today, I found traces of a toxin James must have injected. It's not doing her any harm anymore but it obviously must have caused her agonizing pain. Jack, shes had half her bones shattered, several bad bruises, internal bleeding, been stabbed several times in the abdomen, pretty much cut everywhere else and now we find out probably the most agonizing pain imaginable. Add on top of that the fact that she has to spend every night alone, with no one there. Of course shes messed up. She doesn't feel safe. She obviously hasn't been sleeping well. Look I hate to say this, but maybe its better for Gwen if we retcon her, she'll forget everything and go back to the way she was. We can explain it to Rhys. She need never know what happened to her." said Owen quickly. Jack looked blank whilst he considered it. "We'll ask Gwen."

Oooohh Cliff hanger... Reviews please so I know whether or not to continue this. Also if you want it to end with Gwack! If no one wants Gwack I won't do it.


	4. Chapter Four

_Gwen cowered in the corner as James stood over her. "Please don't" she croaked, her throat was dry. James grabbed her hair "LOOK AT ME" he shouted. Gwen looked up into his cold eyes. "You're not the one in charge Gwen, I am, so I decide what I do with you." Gwen shivered. James had stripped her of all her clothes for a punsiment for trying to kick him earlier. It was so cold she assumed she was in a shed or the basement. "So Gwen we've done most of the basic torture tecniques, blunt, sharp, and cold. Only two left, loud and fire" He pulled out a blowtorch from behind his back, and smiled. "No..." she screamed and screamed though she knew it was pointless..._

Jack looked down from his office at Gwen, she was thrashing about again, she must be having a bad dream again he thought. Luckily the restraints would stop her from hurting herself. He sat down and his desk and put his head in his hands. How did it ever come to this? Retconning a team member? Surely they couldn't do it. Then again it was in Gwens best interest. Mean while below Gwen had woken up but not made any attempt at opening her eyes. Jack went down from his office to check Gwen was ok.

"Gwen?"Jack asked cautiously as her eyes were shut and he didn't know if she was awake. She opened her eyes and murmured "Jack?" Jack looked at her and back at Owen. "Owen has a suggestion, an idea. Something that will make you yourself again without the bad dreams and the fear." Gwen straightened her back and looked at him as if to say, continue. "Owen thinks we should retcon you" Jack saw the panic in her eyes. "Not everything just the last month or so. What do you think?" Gwen looked deep in thought. "I have remembered before even after retcon remember " She looked at Owen as he drew in a breath preparing to speak, "I've fixed the recipe that shouldn't happen now. So?" Owen looked at her. "I just don't know Owen, Jack. I want to forget but... I don't know. What if I forget other things. I feel much better now, I am fine honest." She forced a smile, Jack looked at her and saw the insincerity in her eyes. "Gwen your not..." He was cut off by Gwen. "I need to be alone with my thoughts at the moment" She stood up and added as she walked away, "Whilst I still have them..." Gwen grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. "But Gwen you have a concussion..." Jack stopped halfway through, his efforts were pointless.

"Jack, maybe we should retcon Gwen without her permission, its for the best..." Jack looked at him. "I've been thinking that too. Its better for everyone, including Rhys." Jack was unaware that both their ear pieces were in and Gwen heard everything. Gwen stood over looking the bay, she had been there for three hours and it was now dark. She knew the team was watching her, she saw the CCTV camera moving following her as she walked across the bay. She leaned back against the railings. She ripped out her ear piece and threw it in to the water, watching it sink. Gwen sighed. What was the point, she could run, she could hide but they'd still find her,and she would lose her memory. _There was no point anymore_, Gwen thought,_ no point to living, what was her life if it was a lie._ She could keep pretending but for whose sake? Jacks? The teams? Hers? She wasn't happy, she couldn't take the pain anymore. She turned to face the bay, and stepped over the railings. "Goodbye..." she whispered as she leaned forwards to fall in.

She didn't fight it, she didn't want to. Closing her eyes as she fell deeper. Meanwhile at the hub Jack was sat at his desk watching the monitor, he had only gone to get a cup of coffee and now Gwen was out of sight from the camera. He rewound the footage, watching Gwen walk over to the edge of the bay. Jack saw her throw off her earpiece, he watched her lean back. Jack drew in his breath as he saw her climb over the fence. _No, no she wont do this,_ he thought,_ not now._ "NO!" he screamed watching her fall in. Jack stood up from his desk and ran out the room. "Owen! Come with me now. No time to explain..." shouting as he headed for the cog door. The run from the tourist information booth seemed like an eternity. He wished he had fixed the lift yesterday. Owen ran behind him, Jack was easily faster, his long coat flailing in the wind. Closing in on the bay he started to remove his coat as he ran. Each stride bringing him closer to the edge. Jack jumped into the bay. Holding his breath as he frantically searched for Gwen. _Gwen, Gwen, Where are you?_ Jack thought. He tried to yell out but he forgot he couldn't. He saw Gwen's limp body, falling. He swam over to her. Grabbing Gwen's arm he pulled her to the surface. Owen saw them both and help carry Gwen's body out of the water.

"Gwen?! Can you hear me?" Owen asked. Leaning in close he listened for her breathing. "Jack she's not breathing she needs CPR, I can't do it. I have no breath since...since I died. Ok listen to me carefully. You need to do chest compression's do 5 then do a breath then another five. When breathing into her, tilt her head back and I'll hold her nose ok?" Jack nodded. He entwined his fingers and started to push on her chest. "1,2,3,4,5." Counting aloud. Jack leaning in close tilted her head whilst Owen held her nose shut. He opened his lips and breathed into her slowly. "Gwen? Gwen?" Jack started to push on her chest again, starting to give up hope. Suddenly Gwen coughed and spluttered as water came from her mouth. Gasping for air. "She's breathing but she's still unconscious, we need to get her back to the hub. Now." Jack carried her body over his shoulder getting some strange looks from the locals. Luckily for Jack she wasn't as heavy as she used to be, but this worried him even more. Had she stopped eating properly? Pushing the thoughts out of his mind, he walked through the hub to the autopsy room. Jack laid her down on the operating table, not that they ever did much operating on living creatures.

Gwen's eyelids fluttered, not opening though. She tried to move. _Oh god, it was a dream wasnt it, Jack didnt find me I am still with James. _Gwen thought screaming as she panicked. Jack rushed to her side, "I'm here Gwen, don't worry everything's fine." He looked at her as her eyes opened. "Jack. Its really you. I thought..I thought. Why cant I move." She looked at Jack whilst trying to hold in tears "You're tied down because you just tried to drown yourself and we don't want you trying to do that again, or running off. Why Gwen?" She looked into his eyes, but all Jack saw was emptiness. "Bec...beca...because I haven't felt anything for weeks, I cant eat, I can't sleep, everything's numb. I just couldn't take it anymore. Everything I do hurts and in the same way everyday I don't feel a thing." Jack sighed, taking in her words. _Why didn't she tell me? I could've helped._ "Gwen..." Jack said softly "You could have come to me. We could have talked. I might have been able to help. You're one of the team Gwen. I look after my team, I should have noticed, this is my fault. All of it, James, everything." Gwen flinched at hearing Jame's name. Jack leaned in and stroke her cheek before kissing her on the forehead. "Jack I cant...I dont..." Even speaking was difficult for her now. The team used to try get her to shut up now they were wishing she was her old gobby self. She lowered her head and started to cry. Jack leaned over and loosed the straps holding down her arms and legs. Gwen gathered the energy to sit up. "Oh Gwen. We'll all help, we're here for you, me and the team." He wiped her tears and pushed her hair behind her ear. "Look Gwen why dont you go sit on the sofa and have some food. Iantos prepared a meal, and it comes with coffee" he smiled hoping this would cheer her up.

Jack led Gwen over to the sofa "I am just gonna go talk to the team in the boardroom, will you be ok on your own?" he asked. Gwen looked up at him and nodded unable to speak. Jack climbed the steps frowning as he listened to Gwen trying to stifle sobs. _Oh Gwen..._ He opened the door to see the entire team sat down in silence with their heads hung low. "Guys I know you're all as worried as I am about Gwen. We need to help her. So please do some of her paperwork, if she insists on being at work in this state then lets make it easier for her. As for missions, Gwen is currently incapable of going out on missions shes a danger to herself and to others." He looked at the team. "But Jack..." Tosh began. "This isn't a punishment for her Tosh, she honestly cannot be allowed out. Have you seen her? She's a wreck tosh... We need to take extra care of her. She's still a member of the team, she needs time to recover and when she does she will be her old vibrant self. I am going to tell her take some time off though" Jack looked at Ianto. He was clearly waiting for the right moment to speak up "Jack? Do you really think she will be her old self? I mean what happened between her and James was pretty bad. We don't even know what happened we can only guess from her injurys." Ianto looked at him but Jack turned his head away. He couldn't face the truth. He left the room and went back downstairs to check on Gwen. The food and coffee hadn't been touched and she sat there curled up in a ball clutching her knees.


	5. Chapter Five

Jack walked over to the sofa and sighed. He himself upon the edge of the sofa. "Don't pretend everything's ok. I know its not. You almost killed yourself. You got kidnapped Beaten. Stabbed. Poisoned...raped" he stated. Gwen flinched at every sentence, she hated hearing it. "I am giving you time off..." he told her. "No. I want things to get back to normal." she told him. Why did she have to be so stubborn? Jack wondered. "That wasn't a request. Jack stood up. "But..." Gwen started, but was interrupted "No arguments. Go home. I will join you in an hour. Don't do anything stupid, please." he asked slowly. Gwen walked downstairs and collected her stuff as Jack went to ask Owen to drive her, he didn't think she was fit to drive.

Owen pulled up outside Gwen's house. "Thanks Owen, you can get back now." Gwen told him as she started to exit the car. "Ha ha nice try darlin'. Not happening. Don't blame me, Jack wants me to stay with you till he gets here. Anyway I want to stay." Owen smiled at her, hoping it would show he was on her side. They walked into her flat, Gwen switched on the lights and headed to the fridge. "I've got nothing in, I haven't been eating much. I have booze though. Beer ok?" she asked. "Gwen seriously? You need to look after yourself. You cant just drink alcohol. And no, I can't drink anymore remember?" Gwen's face sunk. "I'm sorry... I forgot." Owen stood up and headed to the phone. "It's ok babes. Anyway I insist you eat something now. Pizza is good right?" He dialed the number for Jubilee Pizza. "One Margarita pizza and a can of coke. Ten minutes? Ok." he put the phone down. "So ten minutes, what shall we talk about?" He asked as he sat down. Gwen joined him on the sofa, "I don't know, anything." Why did her voice sound so empty nowadays? Owen thought. It's not right. "Well you never really told me what happened. When...James took you." He tried to be delicate, but maybe knowing might help him to find a way to help her, he needed to know. "Owen I can't..." she whispered. Her throat felt dry all of a sudden. "It's ok I wont force you to. Is there anyone you can tell, or maybe write it down, or email it to me? I know its hard." God Owen, he thought, of course she wont tell you. "I could email it to you. I think I can type it, Owen." She went to her computer and Owen stayed where he was. As the computer booted up Gwen thought about what to type.

Gwen typed for a while and finally clicked send. When Owen received the email his phone bleeped. He opened it.

The majority of the three days was a blur. He took me outside my car, he sedated me with a syringe in the neck. When I woke up I was tied to a chair. He stabbed me and hit me. Then he untied me, but leaving my hands tied behind my back. I tried to run. He grabbed me and threw me to the ground. He punched and kicked at me occasionally stabbing or slashing me with the knife, then I must have gone unconscious. When I woke up again I was cuffed to the wall with chains. He showed me a syringe before injecting me. He told me it was an alien poison designed for torture. The worst pain imaginable. He injected it into my wrist. I don't remember much before I passed out. I cant describe how painful it was, but I just remember hoping he would kill me soon, and it would be over. When I woke again. He began to hit and kick me. I tried to kick him but he grabbed my legs. He told me I had to be punished for this and he took my clothes away. He beat me again but this time he used a baseball bat this he grabbed me by the neck and ran his hands over me. He told me I was his and he would do whatever he wanted to me. He slapped me everywhere before he violated me. I was still chained to the wall and every time he thrust into me he rammed my back into the stone wall. He did this for hours occasionally slapping me or punching me in the gut if I tried to fight it. Eventually I just gave up. He un chained me and kicked me on the ground before looking over me and kicking me in the head. I lay on the floor drifting in and out of consciousness as he continued to beat and stab me and then I couldn't fight it any longer. I passed out. After I had woken up he left me for a while and returned my clothes when he came back he had a blow torch. He help it torwards my face. I tried to stop him but he just got mad and hit me round the face knocking me unconscious. I dont know how long after that you guys found me.

Owen read the email slowly. When he had finished Gwen looked at him. Both stuck for words. He forwarded it to Jack with the message "Gwen couldn't tell me what happened but she emailed it. Heres a copy." attached. "Gwen..." He started. Gwen went to sit on the sofa next to him. "Oh Gwen...I am so sorry." he told her. Why did he ask her to tell him. It was obviously too much to bear to remember. Gwen sat there motionless until Owen grabbed her and pulled her towards him. She rested his head on her shoulder, as he wrapped his arms around her. Rocking her gently as she lay there limp in his arms. His phone bleeped. A message from Jack: I am outside, I want a word in private, its ok to leave Gwen alone for a minute. Owen lifted her off him slowly and told her "I am just gonna go talk to Jack, he's outside and he'll be up in a moment."

Owen stepped outside the door onto the pavement "I know Jack. No wonder she's not ok. I mean we knew before, that she wasn't and that she was tortured but this... How could anyone bear that." Jack looked at him. "I knew he raped her. She told me. But that's all she said. She didn't tell me that much about what happened. I guess now we know. Oh god." he said to Owen. "Look I am gonna head up. Tell the others to do some of her work please, help lighten her load, and to be extra careful about what they say or do. We don't know how fragile she is inside." Jack headed for the stairs and into the flat. He looked around and spotted Gwen sat at the furthest end of the sofa curled into a ball. Maybe she feels safest in that position, Jack thought. "Gwen..." he said softley. She didnt move an inch. Jack walked over and sat down next to her "Look at me Gwen? Please?" Jack asked softley. Gwen turned her head to reveal smudged mascara, a blotchy face, puffed up eyes and silent tears streaming down her face. "H.. me Jack...please" she stuttered. Jack grabbed her limp body and held her as she cried into his shoulder. " ...its ok you're safe here" he soothed. He held her tight and Gwen felt safe in his warm embrace, safe but not happy.


	6. Chapter 6

Gwen lay there asleep in Jacks arms as he stroked her hair. She had been sobbing all through her sleep, but she suddenly started to get worse. Thrashing from side to side screaming. Jack held her tightly to stop her hurting herself, he shook her shoulders gentley. "Gwen, wake up" he said. "Gwen its just a nightmare, you have to wake up" he told her. Gwen slowly started to rise into consciousness, "j..ja" she started. "Jack.." she said. "Yes its me you're safe, you were just having a bad dream." he whispered. Gwen wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly glad of his warm embrace.

Gwen had gone to have a shower whilst Jack waited in the living room. When she emerged from the bathroom she was wearing a towel that covered her only just, however it did show all the marks on her legs and arms. Jack looked at them, Owen and Jack hadn't done the medical exam the doctors at the hospital did. He hadn't actually seen the injurys because they were mostly covered by her usual jeans and t-shirt. "Gwen.." Gwen clutched the towel tighter feeling exposed. Jack surveyed her body. Cuts and bruises covering almost all of her skin. "Oh god...Gwen, you never said it was this bad. I mean the doctors told us but I didn't imagine for a second that it was that bad." Gwen went to her bedroom without making eye contact, she threw on some skinny jeans and a t-shirt, she tied her hair back loosley and went back into the living room. "Gwen-" Jack started but she interupted "Honestly Jack...they look worse than they feel." She sat down on the sofa at the other end from Jack.

"Gwen, what can I do to make it all better? Please tell me?" he asked. Gwen looked into his eyes, "I don't know Jack. I have seen things and done things with Torchwood I never thought were possible, I have been shot, paralysed, and much more but this for some reason, this...I dont even feel like I can go on. After the first day, I had given up hope. I thought you would never find me, I begged for death." Jack looked into her empty eyes, how had this broken her so much. He knew what had happened he still felt she wasnt saying everything, but had no idea of her feelings...how could he? "Gwen... Are you sure about the retcon? You wouldn't know any different..." he started and then trailed off. Gwen looked at him and Jack tried to read her facial expression. "Jack, I want to forget but I dont want to take retcon...I don't know why. When I remembered about Suzie it was in flashes, I saw images, what if that happens? How will I know what it is? What if I see images of James with the knife, or feel the pain again..." Gwen couldn't even finish. "I am gonna get a drink do you want anything? Food?" she asked trying to change the conversation. "Sure I'll have a beer. Gwen?" he asked. "Yes Jack?" He started to ask but then thought against it. "Doesn't matter..."

Gwen returned with a big glass of vodka and a can of beer. "Gwen? Vodka...That much Vodka?" Jack asked cautiously. "Yeah, it helps me relax and sleep later." Jack frowned, how much had she been drinking. "Gwen I don't think you should drink that much..." he told her. Gwen slammed the glass down. "Who are you to tell me what I should drink?! It's my choice, I...I can...I am so sorry" she started to cry again. "I didnt mean to snap.." jack shifted across the sofa next to her. "It's ok, and please don't be mad, but the team and I have noticed you've lost a bit...a lot of weight, have you been eating? What was the last thing u ate?" Jack said softley hoping he didnt anger her. "I had a yogurt on tuesday..." She said. Jack frowned again, it was Thursday. "Gwen if you want things to go back to normal you need to take care of your self, eat properly, don't drink excessivly, tell me when somethings wrong." Gwen turned away, she knew he was right. So she promised him she would try. "Thats good Gwen."

Jack and Gwen talked for a while before she went to bed Jack was reluctant to leave her so he said he would sleep on the sofa. About half way through the night Jack heard her crying again. He went into her room and sat on the bed stroking her hair. She was having another nightmare. Poor Gwen, he thought, he still there in her mind, still hurting her and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Gwen woke up suddenly, tears streaming down her face, gasping for air. "It was just a dream Gwen" he told her. Gwen looked up at her boss standing over her. "Jack stay with me please..." she pleaded. Jack knew he was over-stepping the line, and Rhys would kill him, but he climbed into her bed and held her held her tightly under the covers. Gwen snuggled up next to him feeling safe.


End file.
